(from email, of course. Thanks Barb!)
New York resident Kathy Evans brought
humiliation to her friends and family when she set a new standard for stupidity
with her appearance on the popular TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.'
Evans,
a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question and
proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing 'the absolute worst use of
lifelines ever.' After being introduced to the show’s host Meredith Vieira,
Evans was posed with a typically easy initial $100 question.
The
question was: 'Which of the following is the largest?'
A)
A Peanut
B)
An Elephant
C)
The Moon
D)
A Car
Immediately
Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she did not readily know
the answer. "Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie," said Evans, as Vieira
did her level best to hide her disbelief. "I mean, I'm sure I've heard of
some of these things before, but I have no idea how large they would be."
Evans
made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines. The 50/50. answers, A and D, were removed, leaving her to decide which
was bigger: an elephant or the moon. However, faced with an incredibly easy question,
Evans still remained unsure.
"Oh!
It removed the two I was leaning towards!" exclaimed Evans. "Darn. I think
I better phone a friend." Mrs. Evans asked to be connected with her friend
Betsy, who is an office assistant.
"Hi
Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!" said Evans, wasting the first
seven seconds of her call. "Ok, I got an important question. Which of the
following is the largest? B, an elephant, or C, the moon? 15 seconds hun."
Betsy
quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon. Evans proceeded to argue with
her friend for the remaining ten seconds.
"Betsy,
are you sure?' said Evans.”How sure are you?" "Duh, that can't be
it."
To
everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her friend's advice.
"I just don't know if I can trust Betsy. She's not all that bright. So I
think I'd like to ask the audience," said Evans.
Asked
to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor of answer C,
"The Moon." Having used up all her lifelines, Evans then made the
dumbest choice of her life!
"Wow,
seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking," said the too-stupid-to-live
Evans. "But you know, sometimes you just got to go with your gut. So,
let's see... I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer."
Evans
sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath -
and was told that she was wrong, and
that the answer was in fact, C, "The Moon."
Caution...they
walk among us!
