If You're Too Busy (Cool or Male) to "Pin"

And, for the guys: no, I'm not talking about sex.

For a mood-lifter that doesn't involve chocolate or drugs (wait, is chocolate a drug?) I sometimes turn to Pinterest. To share the smiles with those non-Pinners, here are just a few morning smiles (mostly courtesy also of somecards.com:

warm goodies

cynical but funny, but (sometimes true)

and maybe a little liquor?

insert evil laugh here

life lesson???

when haters are hating

Peace

--Free

Gentle Thoughts

From my Aunt Johnnie:

Birds of a feather flock together

and then crap on your car.

A penny saved is a

Government oversight.

The older you get, the tougher

It is to lose weight, because by

then your body and your fat have

gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find

something lost around the

house is to buy a replacement.

He who hesitates is probably right.

Did you ever notice: The Roman

numerals for forty (40) are 'XL'.

The sole purpose of a child's

middle name is so he can

tell when he's really in trouble.

Did you ever notice: When you

put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS'

together it spells 'Theirs.'

Aging: Eventually you will

reach a point when you stop

lying about your age and

start bragging about it.

Some people try to turn back

their odometers. Not me, I want

people to know 'why' I look this

way.  I've traveled a long way and

some of the roads weren't paved.

When you are dissatisfied and

would like to go back to your

youth, think of Algebra.

You know you are getting

old when everything either

dries up or leaks.

One of the many things no

one tells you about aging

is that it is such a nice change

from being young.  Ah, being

young is beautiful, but being

old is comfortable.

Lord, Keep your arm around

my shoulder and your hand

over my mouth . . . AMEN!

Peace

--Free

Little Boys

This is why I don't really want a man who has grown all the way up!

Wow!

I TRULY DID NOT KNOW THIS!



Las Vegas Churches accept gambling chips?

THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN
LAS VEGAS , BUT THERE ARE MORE CATHOLIC CHURCHES THAN CASINOS.

NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME WORSHIPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED.


SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE DEVISED A METHOD TO COLLECT THE OFFERINGS.

THE CHURCHES SEND ALL THEIR COLLECTED CHIPS TO A NEARBY FRANCISCAN MONASTERY FOR SORTING AND THEN THE CHIPS ARE TAKEN TO THE CASINOS OF ORIGIN AND CASHED IN.



THIS IS DONE BY THE CHIP MONKS.



YOU DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT COMING DID YOU?

Under the Influence of Childhood?

Saw this on Facebook and thought I'd share it here. The source is apparently these folks on Facebook: Laugh, Quotes & Facts. Go on over and show some "Like" love!

Me behave? Seriously?

As a child I saw Tarzan almost naked,

Cinderella arrived home after midnight, 

Pinocchio told lies,

Aladdin was a thief,

Batmak drove over 200 miles an hour,

Snow White lived in a house with 7 men,

Popeye smoked a pipe and had tattoos,

Pac Man ran around to digital music while eating pills that enhanced his performans,

and Shaggy and Scooby were mystery solving hippies that always had the munchies. 

The fault is not mine!

Oh, Miss Maxine! You a Mess!

(Oh, how I do love Miss Maxine! Thanks Auntie J!)

• "The only thing I stir up in the kitchen is trouble."
• "I hate housework! You make the beds, do the dishes and 6 months later you have to do it all over again!!"
• "I read recipes the way I read science fiction - I get to the end and think 'Well, that's not gonna happen!'"
• "Recipes are like a dating service. They never end up looking like the picture."
• "There should be a support group for women who can't put their dishes in the dishwasher dirty."
• "I love a good meal! So I don't cook."
• "A household hint: Stop dusting and you can use your coffee table as a message board."
• "Smoke detectors need to be tested from time to time. So sometimes I cook something."
• "They lied. Hard work has killed lots of people."
• "I find it helps to organize chores into categories: Things I won't do now; Things I won't do later; Things I'll never do…"
• "Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you want to meet Him."

One Day Employment

(This is from Maxine - the woman we women love

to love!) 

***********

So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter,

a good find for many retirees.

I lasted less than a day...

About two hours into my first day on the job

a very loud, unattractive,mean-acting woman walked

into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities

at them all the way through the entrance.

I said pleasantly. ‘Good morning and welcome

to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there.

Are they twins?' 

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say.

‘Hell no. they ain’t twins. The oldest one’s 9,

and the other one’s 7. Why the hell would you

think they’re twins? Are you blind, or stupid?’

So I replied. I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma’am,

I just couldn’t believe someone slept with you twice.

Have a good day and thank you for shopping

at Wal-Mart.’

My supervisor said I probably wasn’t cut out for this

line of work.

Good One!!!

Got this from Auntie J. Don't know if it's true or not. If it is, this young lady has a great sense of humor and creative way of making her point!!!

LOL... TOO funny. And I just LOVE her expressions.
By the way - she emailed all 33 photos to the ENTIRE office!!! (Wonder if that boss of hers still has a job, or is he able to devote ALL his time to Farmville! LOL)

Ghetto Spelling Bee

(Auntie Johnnie Mae: We should be ashamed of ourselves, but I'm posting this. I know some folks are going to be mad, but... this is just funny!)

Ghetto Spelling Bee

Tyrell came home from school disappointed.  "I HATE English, them teachers are always changing stuff". 

Mother:  "Tyrell, have you been using BAD words and writing dirty notes again?"

Tyrell:  "Naw, momma, I swear I didn't.  I used all of my spelling words in a sentence like the teacher said, but the teacher, she gave me an "F". 

*****

HOTEL  - My Momma said that she ain't gon tell her friend Shaqueta nothing else, cause that HOTEL everthang she know.

HONOR ROLL - We was playing bidwiz on the stoop the other day and man, I was HONORROLL.

PLANET - Leroy got arrested cause he got him some seed to grow weed, and he PLANET in the backyard.

DISMAY - I went for a blood test, the doctor pulled out a needle and said DISMAY hurt a little.

OMELETTE - I should punch you for what you just said but OMELETTE it go dis time.

STAIRWAY - Getting high is stupid. It makes you STAIRWAY into space.

MOBILE - I went to buy some food, I was short on cash, and my man said gimme one MOBILE.

DEFENSE - I saw this dude running from the cops, but he hopped DEFENSE and got away.

AFRO - I got so mad at my girl, AFRO a lamp at her.

AFTERMATH - I don't feel like being at school today so AFTERMATH, I'm out.

LOCKET - I slam the door so hard, I LOCKET.

DOMINEERING - My girl's birthday was yesterday, so I got her a DOMINEERING.

KENYA - I needed money for the subway, so I axe a stranger KENYA spare some change.

DERANGE - DERANGE is where da deer and da antelope play.

DATA - At my basketball game, I scored thirty points and my coach say, "DATA boy."

BEWARE - I asked the man at the unemployment office, "Is dis BEWARE I can get a job?"

DIMENSION - I be tall, dark, handsome and not DIMENSION smart.

COATROOM - The judge said, "One more outburst, you'll be thrown out de COATROOM."
 
DECIDE - My boy fronting like he love his girl but everybody know he got a couple of chicks on DECIDE.

FASCINATE - Her dress got 10 buttons, but she so big she can't FASCINATE.

***

Yeah, I know - that's just WRONG!

Gotta Do Whatcha Gotta Do

From my niece Gwennie. This is hilarious & just goes to show that people will figure out a way around almost ANYthing...

(I'd laugh, but I've ridden in cars ALMOST as bad!)

(But not THIS bad)

(Oh my...)

(Now THIS is just too much. Are they really that shallow???)

(I can see the lightbulb going off for the men out there. Guys - DON'T try this at home!)

(I, uh, I just don't, uh... *sigh*)

(Uh, EWWW)

(LOL)