Alcohol Warning Labels

from my email... 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you 
are whispering when you are not. 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends 

over and over that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think that you can 

sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like

a complete idiot.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that friends and ex-lovers

are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher,

smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think that people are 

laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead to pregnancy.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting

your behind kicked.

WARNING: The crunsumpten of alcohol may Mack you tink you kan tpye reel Gode.

This is touching

(Not the usual humor stuff, but I got this from a friend the other day & thought you might enjoy)

 

Everyone Can Be in Your Front Row

Everyone Can't Be in Your Front Row
Life is a theater - invite your audience carefully.
Not everyone is spiritually healthy and mature enough to have a front
row seat in our lives. There are some people in your life that need
to be loved from a distance.

It's amazing what you can accomplish when you LET GO,
or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible,
not-going-anywhere relationships/friendships/fellowships!

Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention
to: Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones
discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are
going downhill?

When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse?

Which ones always have DRAMA or don't really
understand, know and appreciate you and the gift that lies within you?
When you seek growth, peace of mind, love and truth, the easier it will
become for you to decide who gets to sit in the FRONT ROW and who should be
moved to the balcony of your life.

You cannot change the people around you...but you can
change the people you are around! Ask God for godly wisdom and discernment
and choose wisely the people who sit in the front row of your life.

'Just because no one has shown up who can love you on your level,
doesn't mean you sink to theirs!'

A Fly in the Coffee

Again - from my Aunt Johnnie (I actually DO get emails from other people though! LOL)

 

A fly falls into a cup of coffee:

 

·        The Italian - throws the cup and goes into a fit of anger.

 

 

·         The Frenchman - pulls out the fly and drinks the coffee.

 

·        The Chinese - eats the fly and throws out the coffee.

 

·        The Russian drinks the coffee with the fly.

 

·        The Israeli - sells the coffee to the Frenchman, the fly to the Chinese, buys himself a new a cup of coffee and uses the remaining money to invent a device that prevents flies from falling into coffee. 

 

·        The Palestinian - blames the Israeli for having thrown the fly in his coffee, complains to the UN for this act of aggression, receives a LOAN from the European Union to buy a cup of coffee, uses the money to purchase explosives and then explodes himself in a cafe, where the Italian, French, Chinese, and Russian, are all trying to explain to the Israeli that he should give his cup of coffee to the unfortunate Palestinian.