Ducky Says...

Thought these were cute (if only because of Ducky!)

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it.

So I said 'Implants?' She hit me.

Marriage changes passion.

Suddenly you're in bed with a RELATIVE.

When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any LOOSE fitting clothing, I would NOT have signed up in the first place!

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? 

Don't argue with an IDIOT; people watching may NOT be able to tell the difference.

Wouldn't you know it....

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

Why do I have to swear on the BIBLE in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?

(Another completely brilliant question!!!!)

And remember:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper.      

           The closer it gets to the end, the FASTER it goes.

Bumper Snickers

(From email, web and seen or overheard)

@CHRISTJESUS.COM

He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.

Honk If Anything Falls Off

I Haven't Lost My Mind - It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere 

CAUTION! God At Work! Person In Progress!

If we stop voting, will they all go away?

Another dopeless hope fiend!

This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me

Forbidden Fruits create many Jams!

I don't question your existence - GOD

If God didn't want us to eat animals why did he make them out of meat?

Don't follow me, follow Jesus!

Jesus. Don't leave earth without him. 

God gives and forgives, Man gets and forgets!

God spoke, and BANG! It happened!

God loves you! And I'm trying.