Old Ladies

(From my Aunt Johnnie. She is SUCH a mess!)

A mature (over 40) lady
gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman:
Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer:
Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman:
Oh, I see.

Officer:
Can I see your license, please?

Older Woman:
I'd give it to you, but I don't have one.

Officer:
Don't have one?

Older Woman:
Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer:
I see... Can I see your vehicle registration papers, please?

Older Woman:
I can't do that.

Officer:
Why not?

Older Woman:
I stole this car.

Officer:
Stole it?

Older Woman:
Yes. And I killed & hacked up the owner.

Officer:
You what?

Older Woman:
His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman & slowly backs away to his car
and calls for backup. Within minutes, 5 police cars
circle the woman's car. A senior officer slowly approaches it,
clasping his half-drawn gun.

Senior Officer:
Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle, please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle, asking:
Is there a problem, sir?

Senior Officer:
One of my officers told me that you have stolen
this car & murdered the owner.

Older Woman:
Murdered the owner?

Senior Officer:
Yes. Could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty space.

Senior Officer:
Is this your car, Ma'am?

Older Woman:
Yes. Here are the registration papers.

(The Senior Officer is quite stunned.)

Senior Officer:
One of my officers claims that you do not have a driver's license.

The woman digs into her handbag hands over her license.

(The Senior Officer examines it. He looks puzzled.)

Senior Officer:
Thank you, Ma'am. One of my officers told me you didn't have a license,
that you stole this car,
and that you hacked up & murdered the owner.

Older Woman:
Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too!