**STILL FUNNY** Natural Hair Humor

 Since I've gone "natural," I find stuff like this SO funny. (Glad my bedtime routine isn't this complicated!!!)

You sure would be ready for some rest after all that!

Peace
--Free

The Power of "Drawing Back a Nub"

 When reading some Southern sayings the other day, I started to think about the short stories I'm working on. "Drawing Back a Nub" will feature stories about growing up with an old-school, down-home mother.

It has dawned on me that a lot of the parenting techniques my mother used back when I was a kid would land someone in jail today. Kids are so easily "traumatized" today that parents are cautious about "harming their psyche". Whatever. I'm not going to bash what other people do, but I know that nothing my mother did cause any trauma or harmed my psyche. She 'harmed' my backside with a switch plenty of times, but never without a reason or a positive result. And what are those results? Well, I've never been in jail, I am respectful to my elders, and I have nothing but good memories of the way my mother raised me.

One of the things my mother (and most other Southern mothers) was known for was a way with words. Here are some of the things I can remember Mom saying to me at some point during my youth:

• "Girl, sit down before I snatch a crook in your neck." (How exactly does one 'snatch a crook' in someone's neck?)
• "You better take your hand off that bone you call a hip when you're talking to me." (These days, I wish I could still find that bone under all this fat!)
• "Sit your little narrow ass down before I pop a knot on it." (Pop a knot? On my behind? Wha???)
• "Comb that part out of the middle of your hair, looking like Sister Tutta." (To this day, I have no idea who Sister Tutta was. Apparently she had bad fashion sense because she came up often in the critiques of my own hair and wardrobe choices.)
• "I'll slap that nasty little attitude of yours across the street." (Well... dang!)
• "I'll slap the taste out of your mouth."
• "You gonna draw back a nub" was said if you reached for something you shouldn't be reaching for. That one is harsh!

When I was reading that article about regional sayings, I had one mystery cleared up. Apparently when my mother said someone was "Drunk as (or drunker than) Cooter Brown", she was speaking of a well-known town drunk. That saying was right there on the list I saw. (And here I spent years trying to identify which of my parent's friends lived under that Alias.)

I look at kids today and wonder what they are going to remember about their parent's discipline methods. I suppose most will involve having their electronics taken away. Maybe being restricted from surfing the Internet will be the biggest punishment. Huh. They have no idea! I think the worst thing my mother ever did to me was not to give me a "whooping" but to have me go out to the yard and pick out the switch she was going to use. 

There is "power in the tongue" as the Bible teaches. I know that is the truth. My mother didn't always speak "discipline", she spoke "love". The power of my mother's love didn't save any of us kids from making errors in judgment, dealing with heartbreak and heartache, or keep us out of every bad situation we got into. What her love did was keep us from giving in to any of that. When we fell down due to our problems, we never stayed down. When we lost one fight to get ahead, we didn't tap out. Our mother's love is with us to this day. She's been gone now for 20 years now and we still abide by her advice and guidance. There were a few times in my life when I had the chance to make a lot of money but I'd hear Mama's voice saying that "a lifetime of luxury in this life is not worth an eternity of regret in the next."

I WILL be checking out this site asap!
I remember this saying so well.

So, yeah, Mama could be rough on us. We got scolded and "whooped" with switches, and we were told when we were wrong. But we turned out okay. To be honest, the only trauma I suffer from today is being afraid of all the kids who didn't have a mother like mine.

Peace

--Free

P.S.: I wrote this post so long ago that I have forgotten where I got the list of sayings I mentioned. I just went and searched out a couple of sources that you might enjoy:

• "Black Mama's Sayings" 
• Southern Mama's Say...

Quick Smiles

 Since I have been neglecting this blog, I thought I had better come over and spread some smiles around. Here ya go!

This is from one of the funniest Instagram accounts I follow

So... I will be ordering this asap! 

This next one reminds me of something Chuck Missler once said as he renamed the "name it and claim it" movement. He called it the "blab it and grab it" and I laughed for a solid 5 minutes.

So there you go. I will try to be back more often to update here.

Peace

--Free

Natural Hair Humor

 As someone who is a "natural hair" enthusiast, I get a real kick out of the memes and funnies I see online. I thought I would share:

This 1st one is so true. To this day, I won't let anyone "press" my hair with even an electric hot comb.

Peace

--Free

Old & Gold TV Shows 1

 I've been watching The Andy Griffith Show on Prime and, I have to tell you, it's done my heart good. I don't have memories of it but know I must have watched the show as a child. At any rate, think what you want about any of the people who starred in the series, but the show was good stuff. Here are some goodies from the show (and be sure to go check out the sources for more):

Opie's me when I was his age. And Andy was my Dad and Mom!

I laughed so hard at this poem

My parents didn't need a woodshed. I'd get my behind popped right wherever I acted a fool! 

Seriously, if you want to watch something "clean", go check it out.

Peace

--Free

"Black People's Collard Greens"

I bought some bagged collard greens when the store ran out of loose bunches. When I threw out the bag, I had to Google to make sure I had the cooking times right. Looking through a page of images for the bag of greens and instructions, I ran across this:

That made me blink first, then laugh so hard that I started coughing. It reminds of the time a lady was fussing because "we" had been holding out the info on "all the 'butters'".

It's good to find something "touchy" to laugh about together. Laughing is still free and healthy!

Peace

--Free

LOL Moments in Scripture (and eSword)

(This was first posted on my other blog FreeBeingFree. It belongs here.) 

The Hebrews are a people with a past of extreme highs and lows. Their sense of humor is a bit different from that of my own African- American-slave-descendant culture. But I think our troubles and blessings make us appreciate wry humor. 

Yesterday, I was reading in 1 Kings and there is a part in chapter 18 that cracked me up so hard I had to wipe tears from my eyes. I will share versions from both the ERV and the ESV. As a speaker of contemporary English, I found the ERV hit my funny bone hardest.

screenshot from eSword ERV version

Can you just picture it? Elijah making fun of these fools while they are hopping around like madmen!

There is much humor to be found in the Bible. This is a post in the Bible History Daily section of Biblical Archaeology Society that I wanted to share.

Where are parts in the Bible that have made you chuckle?

Peace

--Free

P.S.: I am not affiliated with or compensated by eSword but I love encouraging people to check it out. I have it downloaded onto my computer and use it daily for the many free and paid resources. Please consider donating to them.