Saturday, April 18, 2009

One-Liners & More Confucius Say Laughs

Just a gathering of some great one liners...

"Men lie so much, it should be their second language." (Chris Rock)

"I have my standards. They may be low, but I have them." (Bette Midler)

"If God meant us to be naked, He would have made our skin fit better." (Maureen Murphy)

"I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity." (Chris Rock)

***
And now for Confucius Say:

  • Behind every successful man is good woman - and very surprised mother-in-law
  • Don't drink & park. Accidents cause people
  • Man who fart in church sit in own pew
  • A bird in hand make hard to blow nose
  • Okay to let fool kiss you, but don't let kiss fool you
  • Old bachelor is man who now have money to burn but pilot light gone out
  • Old maid is woman who have all answers but nobody asks her questions
  • God make universe & rested. He then make man & rested. Next He make woman - nobody has rested since
  • Man who open car door for girlfriend reveal one thing: either car is new or girlfriend is
  • State of pregnancy exist when woman takes serious something poked in fun
  • Foolish man give wife grand piano; wise man give wife upright organ

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